by Judy Taylor

Yesterday was the funeral service for a musician friend of my husband.

We believe his death was suicide.

Yesterday I heard Robin Williams had died.

It looks like his death was another suicide.

The impact on my feelings has been phenomenal as I wonder why, where have we gone wrong, why is the world we live in the cause of so much suffering?

I met my husband’s friend Phil once at a band reunion 2 years ago. I was aware he had travelled a "dark road" in recent years however he radiated as he sang that night. I can visualise the chat I shared with him as we all enjoyed the music and friendship of years gone by. In that moment I experienced a gentle man and the essence of who he was.  Now I feel deeply saddened that the darkness took over from the radiance I could see.

Robin Williams I have never met face to face yet the radiance within him shone in every character he played in every movie he was in.

Here's my answer:

It's time we learn to feel. It's time we allow others to feel.  It's time to stop judging feelings. It's time to help ourselves feel. It's time to help others to feel.

Here is an example:

If a child falls over and scrapes the skin off their knee and you say, "Come on, you'll be alright… don’t cry…" Then you are teaching them it's not okay to feel their pain.

If you say "how do you feel?" You are giving them the chance to say "it really hurts".

You can then say "I know it hurts. It will get better."

You have given them permission to feel.
 
Often we do not want others to experience pain because we know how ‘bad’ it feels. Instinctively we want to fix it.

It's time to feel ...

Give yourself permission to feel.

Give others permission to feel ...

Create a space to feel ...