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A Different Kind Of Grief

1/2/2017

4 Comments

 
by Judy Taylor
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I'm grieving.

It's a different type of grief to my mother’s sudden death.

This grief is profound. This is grieving for the living. This is grieving for a relationship where the reality is, ‘there is no resolution’.

This grief requires me digging deep to find acceptance, love, compassion and understanding for myself in a situation that is beyond repair. Some days, some times, I can do this. However, at other times and on other days I find it difficult or even impossible.

So, on my good days I meditate, I walk, I talk, I write, I hug, I observe my emotions and feelings, and I make choices for the benefit of my highest good and the highest good of all concerned. On my bad days I sob my heart out for the experience I am going through. I ache for a resolution that is not possible. I ask for understanding and support from those close to me, and I do the same things that I do on my good days … if I can.

In my own personal experience I know:
- There is no recipe for grieving.
- In any given moment the feelings come and go.
- Live in the moment.

Whatever you are grieving for, grief can take you completely by surprise. Taking time to recognise and acknowledge you are grieving, then observing your emotions and feelings, will empower you to make the best choice for you in any circumstance.

Self-awareness is your greatest gift when you are grieving because it allows you to help yourself.
Self-awareness also guides you when it's is time to reach out and ask for help.
Listen to your inner guidance and you will know.

May love, light and healing present in your life every day.

Jude xoxoxo

PS: At the end of writing this I sat here with the feeling: "I am so proud of myself" … and I am. I believe facing ‘all of me’, both the light and dark side, is one of the most empowering things I will ever do in my life.

Thank you to my husband John, my kids and my close friends who have supported me when I needed it most.


LINKS
Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/ 
Twitter: 
 https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page: 
 http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube: 
 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List: 
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Another birthday ... This journey is not easy ...

26/8/2016

2 Comments

 
So I sit here and contemplate another birthday with my mum in spirit.

I have developed a beautiful relationship with her which truly transcends life on earth. We talk, we chat and signs present everywhere which have helped me to know our relationship is strong and lives forever.

Yet I still long at times for her physical presence, I still long for her to walk up the pathway and for her to be here and hug me when I need one.
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It is strange at times for it to be like this. Yes, we have such a wonderful relationship yet I still ache for her to physically be here with me.

She has taught me so much since she transitioned to her new life, a life I can only imagine. She has helped me embrace the frailties of being human, to express myself fully which has enriched my life as it is now, to embrace the confusions and perceptions I always just accepted, and to get to know myself as a more whole and beautiful person.

In some ways it is like her death has re-birthed me and I have become a child again. It’s like my sensitivities and awareness have opened my heart allowing me to express myself more fully.

This has been oh so hard in many ways because I had been living my life based on perceptions of me I had embraced as a toddler and child, and then continued to embrace as a teenager and young adult which manifested into me as an adult.  

My relationship with myself and others throughout my life has been based on these perceptions, and in all honesty I'm standing right here right now saying these perceptions are not true. These perceptions are false and as I get to know me better I can honestly say that I am Love… and that is all that really matters.

I have sat with my own pain and suffering and sobbed my heart out so many times. I know I will be doing all that again. What I have found each time I have gone inside of me and sobbed through my pain is that Love is always waiting on the other side of my tears.


I am so proud of me. This journey is not easy. However, I know it is the only way for me, and I know my mum is right there beside me encouraging me every step of the way.

Thank you mum. I'm right here too and together we walk the path of Love.

Jude xoxoxo

LINKS:
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/ 

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page:  http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List:  http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html
Audio Visualisations:  http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

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The HOLIDAY I Needed ... the HOLIDAY I Got ...

20/7/2016

2 Comments

 
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Holidays are a great place to come home to the heart.
 
Port Douglas for 7 days. A dream holiday to escape winter.
 
Yes I did it… we drew on the 'FI Account' and booked a last minute deal with only 5 sleeps till we stepped on the plane and arrived at our beautiful tropical apartment with all the comforts we needed and literally a 2 minute walk to the beach.
 
All I wanted to do was relax by the pool, walk along the beach, swim, read my book and share the experience with John. We were in our own pocket of Paradise; so content cooking delicious meals on the BBQ, sipping on lattes and wine and enjoying just being. We both had new books to read and the TV remained off.
 
On day three John was feeling exhausted and not so enthusiastic about joining me for a walk saying: "I am so glad we booked this holiday. I really needed it". By day 4 his exhaustion and lack of enthusiasm hit him hard and it was obvious a bug had set in. First some coughing, then a runny nose and finally a headache that kept getting worse and finally became a migraine. So day 4, 5 and 6 of our holiday became a wipeout for John and the dream holiday experience for us as a couple became a nightmare!
 
So here I was with the holiday I wanted suddenly taken away from me. A roller coaster of emotions and feelings surfaced as I observed the situation and reflected on how it all turned out to be like this.
 
Ah yes… the back story.
 
Back to the week earlier when I booked the holiday package on the Thursday and our flight was early the following Tuesday.
 
On the Friday night John’s band was playing and one of the band members asked John for a lift to the gig. Halfway there he told us he was really sick with a bug!!!!!! I opened my window at that point! Not impressed! The next night - Saturday - they had another gig two hours away and he had already asked John for a lift to that as well. Why take two cars all that distance? But now I said to John, "not a good idea driving all that way with him so sick. Remember we have a holiday booked next week". Though concerned, John kept to the arrangement. They spent two hours driving there and two hours driving back on Saturday night!
 
So now, here we are in tropical Queensland on our amazing holiday and John has come down with the bug big time! It’s only day four!!! I was so pissed off and the emotions were bursting inside of me and out of me in waves.
 
WHOA!!!
 
This was a time to embrace all my feelings and find a way to make the most of the holiday… FOR ME!!!
 
So I allowed myself to walk with my anger along 4 mile beach and dug deep inside to find the essence of what this experience was triggering in me. It was deep… the feelings of 'you just have to understand'… 'this is the way it is'… 'you will just have to wait'… 'this is more important'… 'your needs will have to be put on hold'…
 
So, in essence, my programming was getting in the way of my needs.
 
So what happened?
 
Firstly I acknowledged the situation. The holiday I wanted with John was no longer happening, that was clear.
Secondly I expressed my feelings to John reminding him of 'the back story'. I really needed to get that off my chest. That said, my man was sick so I also expressed compassion. This was no fun for him either.
Thirdly I sprinkled eucalyptus oil all round the apartment to protect myself from his bug.
Fourthly, and most importantly, I made MY now solo holiday MY priority.
 
Everyday I had several walks along the beach. I swam in the warm ocean, I swam in the pool, I read my book. I treated myself to lattes and brunches overlooking the water at the marina. I met some wonderful people. I laughed, I cried, I felt pissed off then I enjoyed the freedom of being me again.
 
Some days were sunny, some were cloudy and some were raining. All in all the perfect environment for me to be in touch with all my emotions and feelings and celebrate being me.
 
Day 7 was the icing on the cake. While John was still weak he was able to join me at the marina and share some of the delights I had discovered and experienced while he lay in bed. The bonus was the sun that now came shining through even though the weather bureau had forecast heavy rain and possible storms on our last day in paradise.
 
As I reflect now ... It was the holiday I needed.
 
From John’s perspective I’m not so sure he would agree it was exactly the holiday he had in mind.


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8,000 reasons for me to get up everyday ...

26/1/2016

3 Comments

 
I've been sharing my story on Facebook now for nearly two years to help others who are grieving for the loss of a loved one. My page has now passed 8,000 likes and that makes it worth getting up every single day.

Why you say?

It’s about the people behind the likes and how my page helps them.

It all began with my first book: ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’. On my Facebook page I shared excerpts from my grief journals and invited others to share their thoughts and feelings. Those who read my words said “I gave them permission to feel” and helped them realise they were not alone. Knowing my words supported others in their grieving process is heart warming.

Now, with the launch of my second book, ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ the journey continues. Through writing I express and share my feelings with my mother just as I did in our conversations when she was alive. This has allowed our relationship to grow and unfold in ways I could never have imagined.

My readers discover that ‘Love Transcends Death’ and there are many ways to stay connected with our loved ones. They are given the opportunity to explore how they can stay connected too

This is what readers have to say about ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’:
 
“Jude’s writing is directly from the heart. Her new book, ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ is full of raw emotion, honesty and vulnerability. Jude gives us all permission to fully connect with, embrace and express all aspects of loss, grief and coming to terms with losing a loved one. 
Her first book has touched lives around the world and I have no doubt that this will do the same.”
Alison Burton, Director - Simply Natural Therapies
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“… Judy lives the reality that death is not the end, that love and a relationship are much stronger than death. Her heartfelt letters to her mother offer a clear insight into the power of this Love.  By sharing this journey others will gain strength and confidence to grow their relationship with their loved ones.”
Glen Lord, President - The Grief Toolbox, President - Compassionate Friends USA

“Judy Taylor is a beautiful example of living from the heart, not the head. Her messages spread light around the world. What a true blessing … I love it! Very raw and honest. Very, very powerful. I think that is what the world needs....authenticity.”
Lynda Cheldelin Fell, President - National Grief & Hope Coalition, Creator – Grief Diaries

“… The focus is less on dwelling on loss and more on living a full and meaningful life. Lessons we learn from our deceased loved ones are priceless in showing us how to live in the moment and be truly present. It's to Judy's credit that she opens her heart so that we can heal ours.”
Rose Inserra, Best Selling author - ‘Dictionary of Dreams’

 “’HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ reveals that, through letter-writing to a loved one our heartfelt emotions can be expressed in a healthy and healing way. It beautifully shows that our connections never have to end and our relationships can become eve closer.”
Christine Duminiak, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist & Author – ‘Grammy Visits From Heaven’

What readers say about ‘MUM MOMENTS - Journey Through Grief” (2014)

“I highly recommend it!! Just finished it last night!  Amazing and touching!”
Robin Winsor

“I love your story and your true honesty and rawness. It speaks deep within from your soul.”
Angela Cartwright (President National Grief Awareness)

“… I bought this book on Amazon and loved it so much that I bought the hard copy too - it really helped me after losing my dad and I passed it onto my mum who has said it has greatly helped her too. I can't recommend this book highly enough for anyone who has lost a loved one.”
Trudy Brookes - Rainbow Rays Reiki

“I LOVE this book it has helped me tremendously and continues to help me. For anyone going through grief I would highly recommend it… It's a long road, and I miss (my parents) so much. Sometimes there are just no words”
Doris Pelletier Jarvis

“I have just been reading your book and so many things you write hit home. I lost my mum suddenly last year (she was 62) she died unexpectedly … I never got to say goodbye to her… Thank you for your journey and sharing it with others, Judy”
Sara Amos

“I was at Judy Taylor's Mum Moments book launch last year… I lost my mum just on 12 months ago. I only just recently picked up Jude's book to read. I laughed, cried and could relate to her story in so many ways… I am blessed to have met you and share your journey. You are an inspiration…”
Annalisa Seville

“Thank you the tears I have being trying to hide are flowing freely after reading nearly half of your beautiful book I look forward to finding peace in writing to my mum thanks it is a big help xx”
Hayley Comley

 “Jude, while reading your book I feel so connected with my Mom. Spirituality lifted… Truly Amazing! Thank you for sharing your Journey!.. Just what I need! God Bless XO”
Erin Piotroski-Olshefski

“I thoroughly enjoyed reading Mum Moments. Having lost my mom unexpectedly last November, so much of what Judy wrote really hit home. I know that I will read it multiple times as I continue on my own journey through the unspeakable grief that comes from suddenly losing my mom and best friend.”
Denise Fleming (Kindle edition)

About The Author:
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Judy Taylor is from Melbourne, Australia. She is a mother, sister, daughter, facilitator, speaker, author and an advocate for self-expression.

Following a successful sales and marketing background Judy embraced a more holistic approach to life following the birth of her children and found a new and satisfying direction in holistic healing. Judy became passionate about helping others embrace their feelings, get to better know themselves and make choices to produce more positive outcomes in their lives .
Judy was tested when her mother died suddenly in February 2011. To deal with her grief she began writing her thoughts and feelings down which provided her with personal comfort and support. She soon found friends and colleagues were touched by her words and was encouraged to share her writings to help others. This led to the self-publication of both her books.

Now, as a successful author, social media facilitator and speaker, Judy has found her niche helping others deal with their own grief and grieving processes.

Links:
www.positivesigns.com.au 
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/books.html https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
https://youtu.be/7jQFokkzGLE
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheZergo123 
https://www.amazon.com/author/judytaylor

‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’
ISBN - Paperback:         978-0-9924900-4-1
ISBN – Ebook:               978-0-9924900-3-4
3 Comments

Aloha, Beautiful Sister - by John Taylor

1/9/2015

2 Comments

 
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This past week I have been feeling so very heavy. It’s like I am in the middle of soft padding that envelopes me from way deep inside.

My sister died and that’s what it is. She wanted to go and was so looking forward to the journey. Her Angels/Guides have helped her by cushioning us from the immediate grief. I believe they have done this so our emotions don’t get in the way of her passing. That’s how I feel it, anyway.

To understand that statement you really needed to have known my sister. Not just a shallow ‘Hi, how you going” acquaintance but more to have been a part of her inner circle of colleagues and friends and patients… those who ‘knew’ her. These were the only people who understood what she did for a living, so to speak. She didn’t say much about her work or her life and that goes way back, too.

I cry with sad happiness that my beautiful sister has ‘gone home’ again. While we didn’t manage to cross paths so much in these last years I will always miss her. I know she is in my heart space and helped me in this lifetime in ways I can never explain or fully comprehend. Even when we were younger her generosity shone through. That’s what good sisters do. It’s part of the life and living process we share.

She was one of the few people who tried to never judge another as she understood we are all on a journey and it’s not an easy ride. She hardly ever gave an opinion without being asked, something I’m not sure I am capable of. She felt a darkness in so many technologies and preferred to live ‘with’ people rather than via computers. I know she tried them once, didn’t like it and let it all go.

While her body slowly fell apart from childhood ailments she had the most wonderful smile. She always saw the best in everyone, even those whose confusions tried to bring others down.

Light always casts shadows unless, perhaps, it shines within a place where there is only Light.

Aloha Marilyn. Our beautiful sister.



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Last Night My Mum Hugged Me In A Dream...

25/8/2015

11 Comments

 
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A whirlwind of emotions and feelings are presenting as my 60th birthday draws close.
Last Thursday I received a phone call to say my Dad's heart condition has deteriorated and the earliest they could operate is this Friday which is my birthday.

My sister in law died on Saturday night 4 weeks after being diagnosed with incurable cancer.

My 'Living in the Moment' way of life is challenging me to embrace it all.

In the early hours of this morning I had a dream where I was sitting in a cafe and my mum walked past. I called her in, we had a huge, beautiful hug and she let me know she is always with me… and then I woke up.

I attempted to go back into a dream state to see her again however she let me know that that was enough and that she is always with me.

Since she died 4½ years ago I so wanted her to present in physical form like this, just like the stories of contacts others had shared with me. I came to an acceptance this was not the way my mum and I were going to connect.

My writing became my most powerful way to connect with her and talking to her just as we had in life became a natural part of our connection. This has sustained me and continues to be a wonderful way to continue our relationship.

In the past week I have not been connecting with her as I have been overwhelmed with all that is happening here in our lives. So this morning she has opened me to a new connection through dreams.

I have sobbed tears of joy today for seeing her, hugging her and talking to her in my dream. It was so powerful.

More importantly, I have sobbed tears of joy and sadness as I recognise if this had happened in the early days I may never have written my journal, never have developed a way to communicate with her through my writing and talking to her which has opened me up to the power of love and the magnificence of life beyond death.


Sharing my story through publishing my journal ‘Mum Moments- Journey Through Grief’ as a book in 2014 has now helped and supported people worldwide. I get so many messages of thanks it makes it all worthwhile.

My Facebook page ‘Mum Moments- Journey Through Grief’offers love comfort and support daily around the world and helps people realise they are not alone. It feels so good to be helping in this way.

I have just completed editing my 2nd book with a working title 'Heartspace - Letters to my Mother’. I ran a workshop last week and plan to run more titled 'Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected' because I know in my heart when we set the intention our loved ones present in a way we can receive them.

All this may not have happened if my mum had presented in my dreams in those early days, or through the weeks, months and years after she died.

Oh my God Mum, you truly have been with me every step of the way. You have never left my side. I love you so much and I hear you say "I love you too, Jude". You are the only one who says it that way.

Love radiates everywhere.

Jude xoxoxo

Judy Taylor
Author of ‘Mum Moments - Journey Through Grief’


If you would like support on your journey please explore our website.
You can join our mailing list to keep in touch with future workshops and events.

My books, ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’ and
'HEARTSPACE - Letters To My Mother' are available for purchase worldwide from our website: www.positivesigns.com.au  and most major online retailers.
You can also ask your bookstore to order it in if it’s not on the shelf.

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Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected

20/8/2015

2 Comments

 
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It's a warm sunny afternoon and I am reflecting on a workshop I facilitated this morning at Simply Natural Therapies: 'Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected.'

Once the introductions were completed the session evolved into a heartfelt communication where all participants shared their personal stories. I began with my journey through grief following my mum's sudden death in 2011 and how writing became one of my most powerful healing tools as I embraced every single emotion and feeling that presented.

Through my writing I discovered a connection with my mum that truly transcends life on earth and found many other ways to keep our connection alive. The more I wrote the stronger the connection.

I now write to her and chat to her in everyday life. It is a beautiful and uplifting relationship that sustains me.

As a group we explored ways to acknowledge our grief as individuals and ways to stay connected with our loved ones. Personal experiences were shared which helped us all realise we are not alone and our feelings are okay.

Many were in the early stages of grief having lost loved ones in recent months or less than a year while others had lost loved ones several years ago. Each one knew the raw emotion of loss and the walls they created in their lives to resist the pain. Some acknowledged they were not yet ready to embrace that pain.

It was a humbling experience to sit with and acknowledge people who were willing to share their grief. Others were more comfortable sitting and observing the processes being shared and soon realised this was a safe, healing space. As the session evolved each and every one opened their hearts to whatever healing processes resonated for them.

By the end of the session everyone recognised they now had a fresh approach to help them on their journey.

Feedback:
Comments included ‘comforting, understanding, supportive, thank you so much, extremely informative, excellent’.

Jude xoxoxo

Judy Taylor
Author of ‘Mum Moments - Journey Through Grief’

If you would like support on your journey please explore our website.
You can join our mailing list to keep in touch with future workshops and events.

My first book ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’ is available for purchase worldwide from these websites: www.positivesigns.com.au ,  www.amazon.com , www.barnesandnoble.com , www.thegrieftoolbox.com , www.bookstore.co.uk
TYPE “Mum Moments” in the search box.
You can also ask your bookstore to order it in if it’s not on the shelf.

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2 Comments

My Birthday ...

7/8/2015

4 Comments

 
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In 21 days I turn 60.

Each birthday since my mum died I ponder what she was doing as my birth approached. Did she have time to be present with my impending birth? Was she too busy to enjoy the moment whilst caring for her 2 other children both under 3 years of age? Then I think it doesn't really matter. We were together connected through love. I was warm and cosy in her womb. This was the best cuddle ever.

I know now this connection is more powerful than any human experience, more powerful than any connection in the physical world and transcends life and death. I feel this connection every single day and it brings joy to my heart even though the tears are flowing freely as I write.

I feel you everywhere mum. I feel the warmth of snuggling up in your womb, I feel the warmth of your love and I will continue to talk to you, walk with you, laugh with you,  cry with you, write to you and connect with you forever.

I now know there is connection in the afterlife and it can be just as good as it was in life.

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"You Are In My Thoughts... "(excerpt from "Mum Moments-Journey Through Grief"

23/9/2014

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You are in my thoughts daily and I love it.

Often I need to write it, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

If it’s meant to be I’ll write it and if it’s meant for me I’ll keep it within me, share it when it’s right and keep it tight when it’s not.

The wonder of writing is the fact that I can when the urge presents.

So often in life things come to me and I can see the benefit in sharing these thoughts and I understand the meaning, the truths that unfold in the moment.

I’m realising in the moment that sometimes the message is for me and sometimes the message is for sharing.

Intuitively I always know, intuitively I sense that knowing.

I know it’s time to listen more to me and allow my higher purpose on earth to be fulfilled.

Thank you for being my Mum.

Jude

Sunday 29th April, 2012
Excerpt from Mum Moments - Journey Through Grief


LINKS
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/ 

Twitter: 
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014

Amazon Author’s page: 
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC

Youtube: 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA

Join Our Mailing List: 
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html

Audio Visualisations: 
http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

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    Author

    Judy Taylor
    - Author
        MUM MOMENTS
        Journey Through Grief
    - Advocate for Self Expression
    - Writer
    - Speaker
    - Facilitator

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    John Taylor
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