Category: Nurturing

To Everyone Separated From a Loved One or Family at Easter

16/4/2019

To everyone separated from a loved one or family at Easter,

I know how hard it is to step into Celebrations at any time of year if you have a loved one that has died or if you are estranged from family.
The loss is deep.
The loss is heartbreaking.
It feels overwhelming.
It feels so sad.
The pain is so deep.
You just want to run away from it but you can’t.
You take it wherever you go.

I know this because I’m living it.

So what do I do?
I write about it.
I talk about it.
I give myself the space to acknowledge the pain and hurt.
I let the tears flow until they are spent and somehow I find myself coming out from the other side of the heartbreak.

Then I do things that support me.
I go for walks, I meditate.
I spend time with people I love.
I do things that bring joy to my heart.

So I just wanted to let you know that joy and sadness can coexist.

Jude xoxoxo

Author: 'Mum Moments - Journey Through grief' & 'Heartspace - Letters To My Mother'

LINKS

FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/JudyTaylorGriefHealingLoveInspirationHope/

TWITTER
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014

YOUTUBE
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheZergo123

PS WEBSITE
www.positivesigns.com.au

AUDIO
https://store.cdbaby.com/artist/positivesigns

2 Comments

A Different Kind Of Grief

1/2/2017

4 Comments

by Judy Taylor

I'm grieving.

It's a different type of grief to my mother’s sudden death.

This grief is profound. This is grieving for the living. This is grieving for a relationship where the reality is, ‘there is no resolution’.

This grief requires me digging deep to find acceptance, love, compassion and understanding for myself in a situation that is beyond repair. Some days, some times, I can do this. However, at other times and on other days I find it difficult or even impossible.

So, on my good days I meditate, I walk, I talk, I write, I hug, I observe my emotions and feelings, and I make choices for the benefit of my highest good and the highest good of all concerned. On my bad days I sob my heart out for the experience I am going through. I ache for a resolution that is not possible. I ask for understanding and support from those close to me, and I do the same things that I do on my good days … if I can.

In my own personal experience I know:
- There is no recipe for grieving.
- In any given moment the feelings come and go.
- Live in the moment.

Whatever you are grieving for, grief can take you completely by surprise. Taking time to recognise and acknowledge you are grieving, then observing your emotions and feelings, will empower you to make the best choice for you in any circumstance.

Self-awareness is your greatest gift when you are grieving because it allows you to help yourself.
Self-awareness also guides you when it's is time to reach out and ask for help.
Listen to your inner guidance and you will know.

May love, light and healing present in your life every day.

Jude xoxoxo

PS: At the end of writing this I sat here with the feeling: "I am so proud of myself" … and I am. I believe facing ‘all of me’, both the light and dark side, is one of the most empowering things I will ever do in my life.

Thank you to my husband John, my kids and my close friends who have supported me when I needed it most.

LINKS

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List:
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html
Audio Visualisations:
http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

4 Comments

Love Is The Answer

11/12/2016

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Love is the answer

Many people throughout my life have told me they loved me. To them I say, “thank you”.

However, there is one person that is more important than all these people, one person I really need to love me… and that person is me.

You see, I know Jude intimately. I know her strengths and weaknesses, I know her joys and her laughters… and I also know her pain and her suffering.

I know that when I accept Jude as she is, all of her, and love her just the way she is, that I am experiencing a true love.

I know when I feel love deep inside of me and allow the love to support me every step of the way, that I will accept Love as the truth of who I am.

With this knowing I often say to people, “do you feel loved?” as an alternative to, “I love you”, because I know that if someone says to me, “I love you”, but I am not feeling much self-love at the time, then it’s difficult to believe them.

So, take a moment to embrace my thoughts. Then, if they resonate for you, practice loving yourself… all of you… the whole package … warts and all… and notice the effect this has on your life.

Love really is the answer.

Jude xoxoxo

by Judy Taylor

LINKS
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List:
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html
Audio Visualisations:
http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

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Triggered by Suicide

5/10/2016

1 Comment

by Judy Taylor

Today my writing is triggered by the word 'Suicide'.

When I was a little girl I used to think: "if I die, they will be sorry".

Now I'm 61 I know that: “if I die, I will be the one being sorry”.

I have so much love in my heart to share with the world.

My life has been a roller coaster of emotions and I wear my heart on my sleeve. This has made my life particularly challenging and at times completely overwhelmed me.

I have come to accept me more and more over recent times and recognise many people will have their emotions triggered by my raw and honest sharing. I also know that my sharing will help many on their own personal journey.

So I will write, I will share, I will wear my heart on my sleeve because maybe, just maybe my words will trigger your emotions.

Just maybe my words will give you hope.

Maybe you will recognise that, through the trials and tribulations of life, that YOU are Love and 'Life is worth living'.

I hope so.

Jude xoxoxo

LINKS
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List:
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html
Audio Visualisations:
http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

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The HOLIDAY I Needed ... the HOLIDAY I Got ...

20/7/2016

2 Comments

Holidays are a great place to come home to the heart.

Port Douglas for 7 days. A dream holiday to escape winter.

Yes I did it… we drew on the 'FI Account' and booked a last minute deal with only 5 sleeps till we stepped on the plane and arrived at our beautiful tropical apartment with all the comforts we needed and literally a 2 minute walk to the beach.

All I wanted to do was relax by the pool, walk along the beach, swim, read my book and share the experience with John. We were in our own pocket of Paradise; so content cooking delicious meals on the BBQ, sipping on lattes and wine and enjoying just being. We both had new books to read and the TV remained off.

On day three John was feeling exhausted and not so enthusiastic about joining me for a walk saying: "I am so glad we booked this holiday. I really needed it". By day 4 his exhaustion and lack of enthusiasm hit him hard and it was obvious a bug had set in. First some coughing, then a runny nose and finally a headache that kept getting worse and finally became a migraine. So day 4, 5 and 6 of our holiday became a wipeout for John and the dream holiday experience for us as a couple became a nightmare!

So here I was with the holiday I wanted suddenly taken away from me. A roller coaster of emotions and feelings surfaced as I observed the situation and reflected on how it all turned out to be like this.

Ah yes… the back story.

Back to the week earlier when I booked the holiday package on the Thursday and our flight was early the following Tuesday.

On the Friday night John’s band was playing and one of the band members asked John for a lift to the gig. Halfway there he told us he was really sick with a bug!!!!!! I opened my window at that point! Not impressed! The next night - Saturday - they had another gig two hours away and he had already asked John for a lift to that as well. Why take two cars all that distance? But now I said to John, "not a good idea driving all that way with him so sick. Remember we have a holiday booked next week". Though concerned, John kept to the arrangement. They spent two hours driving there and two hours driving back on Saturday night!

So now, here we are in tropical Queensland on our amazing holiday and John has come down with the bug big time! It’s only day four!!! I was so pissed off and the emotions were bursting inside of me and out of me in waves.

WHOA!!!

This was a time to embrace all my feelings and find a way to make the most of the holiday… FOR ME!!!

So I allowed myself to walk with my anger along 4 mile beach and dug deep inside to find the essence of what this experience was triggering in me. It was deep… the feelings of 'you just have to understand'… 'this is the way it is'… 'you will just have to wait'… 'this is more important'… 'your needs will have to be put on hold'…

So, in essence, my programming was getting in the way of my needs.

So what happened?

Firstly I acknowledged the situation. The holiday I wanted with John was no longer happening, that was clear.
Secondly I expressed my feelings to John reminding him of 'the back story'. I really needed to get that off my chest. That said, my man was sick so I also expressed compassion. This was no fun for him either.
Thirdly I sprinkled eucalyptus oil all round the apartment to protect myself from his bug.
Fourthly, and most importantly, I made MY now solo holiday MY priority.

Everyday I had several walks along the beach. I swam in the warm ocean, I swam in the pool, I read my book. I treated myself to lattes and brunches overlooking the water at the marina. I met some wonderful people. I laughed, I cried, I felt pissed off then I enjoyed the freedom of being me again.

Some days were sunny, some were cloudy and some were raining. All in all the perfect environment for me to be in touch with all my emotions and feelings and celebrate being me.

Day 7 was the icing on the cake. While John was still weak he was able to join me at the marina and share some of the delights I had discovered and experienced while he lay in bed. The bonus was the sun that now came shining through even though the weather bureau had forecast heavy rain and possible storms on our last day in paradise.

As I reflect now ... It was the holiday I needed.

From John’s perspective I’m not so sure he would agree it was exactly the holiday he had in mind.

2 Comments

Outside My Comfort Zone

22/3/2016

3 Comments

Today I had a project I was working on which took me outside my comfort zone and I so wanted someone else to fix it for me.

John refused to rescue me. I was not happy.

I was stuck and reaching outside of me for the solution ... and then 'I got it'. My intuition reminded me to do what I do best in these situations: "write it out".

So I did ... It started with acknowledging "I'm stuck" and the words flowed from there.

In a short period of time my overview was complete and I was no longer 'stuck',

Reminder to me ... recognise and acknowledge my fears and listen to my intuition.

I now appreciate John's resistance to rescue me. It worked.

3 Comments

Stuck In Childhood Perceptions . . .

4/3/2016

4 Comments

Two and a half weeks ago I was living my mission one step at a time. The essence of me was shining brightly. I felt good. I felt challenged. I felt willing to continue on my pathway guided by my intuition.

And then ... for the last two weeks I've been stuck in my childhood perceptions of 'who I am' completely depleted of the 'inner knowing of the love that I am'.

I was triggered by a comment made by another person in my birth family about me. This trigger was so, so deep it penetrated way beyond the surface of the ‘me’ that loves and accepts me as I am and delved into the deep dark corners of blame, fault, fear and more.

My sense of self, my sense of knowing, my sense of ‘me’ fell apart as I allowed this dark vision of myself to present as I desperately attempted to push it away.

It was devastating. I was devastated and I felt the deep, deep helplessness of 'there is no way out' … 'there is no resolution' … 'there is just pain and suffering' …

I so, so wanted to fix this, just as I have wanted to fix this since I was a young child.

So, during this time I have been overwhelmed with emotions. I have sobbed my heart out. My solar plexus which is the energy centre for self love and self nurturing felt like it had completely collapsed and I felt like I didn't even want to get out of bed. I even felt like I just wanted to run away from it all.

In this time I have also taken steps each day to nurture myself even when I didn't feel like it. I got out of bed, I went for a walk, I went to the gym, I meditated. I wrote through the pain. I kept going gently one step at a time even when I didn't feel like it.

Then, this morning I turned the corner and came home to my heart.

The most powerful thing I did was I cared for ‘me’ throughout this time. I cared for and loved the 'inner child’ who was sobbing for her life … the little girl who was lost and alone and felt like no one understood her … the little girl who ‘didn't fit in' … the little girl ‘who just knew' … and through it all I found my little girl has grown into a radiant compassionate loving woman who knows how to find her way home to the love in her heart, and then share her wisdom and experience to help others.

When I look back I see I have spent a lifetime learning, making great choices, making mistakes, falling apart, healing myself and healing others. I am a sensitive intuitive just born to be ‘me’.

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4 Comments

Here We Go Again - Grief … Holidays, Christmas & Celebrations …

12/11/2015

4 Comments

Here we go again ... the words that can trigger reactions around the world ... 'Holidays' ... 'Christmas'

A time of celebration for many. A time of pain for those grieving for the 'happy family syndrome', a situation that doesn't exist for everyone … and for those grieving the loss of a loved one.

My immediate family I love and cherish, and while we bring out the best and worst in each other we do celebrations well. My birth family is a mixture and sadly there are many separations.

At this time of year I would love to say to everyone: “let's let go of the differences and come together to acknowledge we are family.” Through it all it would be wonderful for love and respect to shine through.

This is not the case, and as I have discovered over many years, I am not alone with this experience.

It is with trepidation that this year I am willing to acknowledge well in advance that 'the happy family' is not going to happen beyond my immediate family.

So it's time to plan ahead to embrace the loved ones that are happy for the connection and friends who bring joy to my heart.

I hope you too can embrace loved ones and friends who light up your life.

Jude xoxoxo

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4 Comments

Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected

20/8/2015

2 Comments

It's a warm sunny afternoon and I am reflecting on a workshop I facilitated this morning at Simply Natural Therapies: 'Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected.'

Once the introductions were completed the session evolved into a heartfelt communication where all participants shared their personal stories. I began with my journey through grief following my mum's sudden death in 2011 and how writing became one of my most powerful healing tools as I embraced every single emotion and feeling that presented.

Through my writing I discovered a connection with my mum that truly transcends life on earth and found many other ways to keep our connection alive. The more I wrote the stronger the connection.

I now write to her and chat to her in everyday life. It is a beautiful and uplifting relationship that sustains me.

As a group we explored ways to acknowledge our grief as individuals and ways to stay connected with our loved ones. Personal experiences were shared which helped us all realise we are not alone and our feelings are okay.

Many were in the early stages of grief having lost loved ones in recent months or less than a year while others had lost loved ones several years ago. Each one knew the raw emotion of loss and the walls they created in their lives to resist the pain. Some acknowledged they were not yet ready to embrace that pain.

It was a humbling experience to sit with and acknowledge people who were willing to share their grief. Others were more comfortable sitting and observing the processes being shared and soon realised this was a safe, healing space. As the session evolved each and every one opened their hearts to whatever healing processes resonated for them.

By the end of the session everyone recognised they now had a fresh approach to help them on their journey.

Feedback:
Comments included ‘comforting, understanding, supportive, thank you so much, extremely informative, excellent’.

Jude xoxoxo

Judy Taylor
Author of ‘Mum Moments - Journey Through Grief’

If you would like support on your journey please explore our website.
You can join our mailing list to keep in touch with future workshops and events.

My first book ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’ is available for purchase worldwide from these websites: www.positivesigns.com.au , www.amazon.com , www.barnesandnoble.com , www.thegrieftoolbox.com , www.bookstore.co.uk
TYPE “Mum Moments” in the search box.
You can also ask your bookstore to order it in if it’s not on the shelf.

2 Comments

Happy Birthdays ... Mixed Emotions ...

29/7/2015

4 Comments

In 30 days I will turn 60.

I am aware I plan to celebrate my 60th birthday. I am yet to decide how.

I love birthdays however I'm not sure what that means. I google it and Wikipedia says, 'A birthday is an occasion when a person or institution celebrates the anniversary of their birth. Birthdays are celebrated in numerous cultures, often with a gift, party, or rite of passage.'

My mum was at my birth and at my first 55 birthdays and that's how I liked it.

My last 4 birthdays she has been with me 'in spirit' which is truly a beautiful experience however the little girl inside of me and even the big girl would love her to still be here physically, and that's tough.

I remember dancing with her at my 50th birthday and I want that again. I also know that wherever I am she will be right there by my side and perhaps even closer than she was in this physical world.

Such a mishmash of emotions and feelings. I love the relationship we have developed since her death and the ways we continue to connect however I'd give anything (whatever that means) to have her here right now.

So I'm going to talk about it, write about it, feel it, and see what evolves over the next 30 days.

I know friends are waiting for me to say how I'm going to celebrate, however right now I have no clear answers because my emotions and feelings are floating between the world I once knew with my mum and the one I now know.

Both are beautiful in their own way.

Jude xoxoxo
___________________

4 Comments

<<Previous

To Everyone Separated From a Loved One or Family at Easter

A Different Kind Of Grief

Love Is The Answer

Triggered by Suicide

The HOLIDAY I Needed ... the HOLIDAY I Got ...

Outside My Comfort Zone

Stuck In Childhood Perceptions . . .

Here We Go Again - Grief … Holidays, Christmas & Celebrations …

Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected

Happy Birthdays ... Mixed Emotions ...

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grief, mourning, loss, death, grieving, feelings, stress management, mum, mom, ma, mother, self awareness, self help, intuition, inner-knowing, self expression, stress, healing, holistic healing, Maeve Binchy, Marian Keyes, Monica McInerney,