Category: Mourning

To Everyone Separated From a Loved One or Family at Easter

16/4/2019

To everyone separated from a loved one or family at Easter,

I know how hard it is to step into Celebrations at any time of year if you have a loved one that has died or if you are estranged from family.
The loss is deep.
The loss is heartbreaking.
It feels overwhelming.
It feels so sad.
The pain is so deep.
You just want to run away from it but you can’t.
You take it wherever you go.

I know this because I’m living it.

So what do I do?
I write about it.
I talk about it.
I give myself the space to acknowledge the pain and hurt.
I let the tears flow until they are spent and somehow I find myself coming out from the other side of the heartbreak.

Then I do things that support me.
I go for walks, I meditate.
I spend time with people I love.
I do things that bring joy to my heart.

So I just wanted to let you know that joy and sadness can coexist.

Jude xoxoxo

Author: 'Mum Moments - Journey Through grief' & 'Heartspace - Letters To My Mother'

LINKS

FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/JudyTaylorGriefHealingLoveInspirationHope/

TWITTER
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014

YOUTUBE
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheZergo123

PS WEBSITE
www.positivesigns.com.au

AUDIO
https://store.cdbaby.com/artist/positivesigns

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So, Why Do I Write About My Grief?

12/4/2019

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So, why do I write about my grief?

I write about my grief because it helps me process how I am feeling and to find calm on the other side of all the emotions that, at times, threaten to tear me apart.

I have learnt, if I resist my grief it completely consumes me, while if I face my grief I can process it and allow myself to embrace the good in my life as well.

By talking about grief and sharing my writing I have discovered that my stories help others as well as helping me. Over the last 8 years I have connected with people around the world who are grieving. Together we have come to recognise we are not alone.

These comments highlight how my willingness to talk and write about grief has helped others to recognise how important it is to share our stories:

“ ... Judy lives the reality that death is not the end, that love and a relationship are much stronger than death. Her heartfelt letters to her mother offer a clear insight into the power of this Love. By sharing this journey others will gain strength and confidence to grow their relationship with their loved ones.” ... Glen Lord, President - The Grief Toolbox, CEO - International Grief Institute

“Judy Taylor is a beautiful example of living from the heart, not the head. Her messages spread light around the world. What a true blessing ... I love it! Very raw and honest, Very, very powerful. I think that is what the world needs ... authenticity.” ... Lynda Cheldelin Fell, Creator - Grief Diaries, Co-Founder of International Grief Institute

“Thank you. The tears I have being trying to hide are flowing freely after reading nearly half of your beautiful book. I look forward to finding peace in writing to my mum. Thanks … it is a big help.” ... Hayley Comley

“I thoroughly enjoyed reading Mum Moments. Having lost my mum unexpectedly last November, so much of what Judy wrote really hit home. I know that I will read it multiple times as I continue my own journey through the unspeakable grief that comes from suddenly losing my mom and best friend” ... Denise Fleming

“I LOVE this book. It has helped me tremendously and continues to help me. For anyone going through grief I would highly recommend it ... It’s a long road, and I miss (my parents) so much. Sometimes there are just no words.” ... Doris Pelletier Jarvis

So let us all be part of the movement to normalise grief. It is or will be a part of life for all of us. It can be overwhelming, raw and heartbreaking. If we talk and write about it we can help soften the blow for everyone who is grieving.

Please feel welcome to share your own grief here.

Jude xoxoxo

Judy Taylor - Author of MUM MOMENTS - Journey Through Grief & HEARTSPACE - Letters To My Mother

FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/JudyTaylorGriefHealingLoveInspirationHope/
TWITTER
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
YOUTUBE
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheZergo123
POSITIVE SIGNS WEBSITE
www.positivesigns.com.au
AUDIO
https://store.cdbaby.com/artist/positivesigns

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"I hate Mother’s Day", I heard someone say ...

28/4/2016

6 Comments

"I hate Mother’s Day", I heard someone say ...

Mother’s Day is different for everyone. Whether you are a mother or a child your relationship with your own mother is a personal connection like no other.

I know if your child or mother has died then Mother's Day brings out the emotions and can trigger so many different feelings including: "I hate Mother’s Day".

Mother’s Day has definitely changed for me since my mum died. But I have actually changed my perspective and can now say: "I love Mother’s Day". I love it as a mother and I love it as a daughter.

Yes, my own mother is dead so there are no longer physical hugs or physical contact. However, she is ever present with me now. I can go anywhere with her on Mother's Day because everywhere I go I hold a special place for her in my heart.

Just like any other day, I know on Mother’s Day there will be happy and sad feelings which come and go. I will allow them without resistance and embrace them throughout my day.

Now I say: “I give myself permission to feel without judgement”, and that means I no longer have to fear Mother's Day or any other day. I can embrace the moment knowing my mum is with me every step of the way.

Jude xoxoxo

6 Comments

I HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO CONFRONT ‘THE ENEMY’ . . .

10/3/2016

4 Comments

By John Taylor

Years ago I was in a working relationship with a group of young men who, like myself, had dreams of taking our adventure to the highest levels possible. Unfortunately it all came crashing down when a principal person decided he wanted to separate the group and a couple of us were left stranded.

It hit me very hard, to say the least. In fact, it hit me so hard I stopped doing something I had a passion for simply because I was full of so much frustrated anger and blame towards this person, feelings I have carried for the ensuing 33 plus years. In hindsight it includes feelings of dis-empowerment: that horrible emptiness when you believe you no longer have control over the important things in your life.

And then, not so long ago, this person came back into my life in an unexpected way: asking to ‘friend’ up on social media.

My initial reaction was confusion. I asked myself: ‘what can I gain by spending any time interacting with this man? Why bother? Life is too short and why stir up the old grievances?

But then a strange thing happened: I recognised that, while I was definitely, absolutely still carrying anger and frustration towards this person I no longer wanted to be doing that. In fact I had a clear feeling that it was time to put it all to rest… to somehow let it out or maybe even let it go. And that felt good… as a concept anyway.

So contact was made and a dialogue began. I honestly admitted to him that I was unsure about re-connecting and he came straight back with total understanding. In fact, he told me why I should be carrying bad feelings towards him for what happened all those years ago. Whoa!

I decided to write out how I felt and send it to him. Then, if he was totally clear as to why I still carried animosity then he could decide whether or not to continue.

My first letter turned out to be full of blame. I listed all the reasons why it was all his fault and everything I ever felt about everything he had done to me. It wasn’t pretty.

Jude pointed out I’d basically written ‘hate mail’ when I ran it past her to see if I’d expressed myself clearly. Blame doesn’t work, she reminded me… try expressing your feelings instead.

Take #2 worked much better. I found myself writing feelings and how what happened all those years ago was still hanging around in me. I explained the impact it had on me rather than blaming him…. and an interesting thing happened. He responded by fully taking responsibility for who he was back then, and for everything that happened as a result of his decisions and actions at the time.

Whoa #2…

After some more back and forth he suggested we meet up - which we did –and it was a very interesting evening. I now know I have moved through all this thanks to his willingness to allow me to confront him personally as well as my own feelings. What began as a catch-up that shifted through more open honesty finally became a very pleasant reunion. After all, not only had we shared a powerful experience back in those heady days, we also found we now had more than a few things in common.

I learned that his own story is a cross-section of self-confrontation in itself, and that he survived a time where he could easily have collapsed into his own demise. Instead he worked through it all and grew to become the man who has now enabled me to deal with the after-effects of our time together.

I now feel as though a horrible weight has been lifted from my shoulders. In many ways I now feel free. Yes, what happened happened… but now I no longer find the memory of those events fills me with darkness or unresolved regret.
_________

As a learning, growing experience I can honestly recommend looking at anything that’s weighing you down as objectively as you can. Maybe seek help with that. Then see if there is something you can do to empower yourself to move through it.

And what about grudges? They’re something we carry like dead weight if we allow them to fester. And that festering can become something worse if we allow it. Revenge comes from this type of energy and revenge is a dish best served up on a movie screen for quick entertainment. I mean, too many of the world’s conflicts come from grudges and blame.

In hindsight, when I look back over those angry, confused, unresolved issues I carried over 33 years I am now thankful I have had the opportunity to confront them and move on. What I learnt is that ‘The Enemy’ isn’t always the person you harbor a grudge against, it’s the grudge itself.

Jude's Facebook Page

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John's Illustration Site

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8,000 reasons for me to get up everyday ...

26/1/2016

3 Comments

I've been sharing my story on Facebook now for nearly two years to help others who are grieving for the loss of a loved one. My page has now passed 8,000 likes and that makes it worth getting up every single day.

Why you say?

It’s about the people behind the likes and how my page helps them.

It all began with my first book: ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’. On my Facebook page I shared excerpts from my grief journals and invited others to share their thoughts and feelings. Those who read my words said “I gave them permission to feel” and helped them realise they were not alone. Knowing my words supported others in their grieving process is heart warming.

Now, with the launch of my second book, ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ the journey continues. Through writing I express and share my feelings with my mother just as I did in our conversations when she was alive. This has allowed our relationship to grow and unfold in ways I could never have imagined.

My readers discover that ‘Love Transcends Death’ and there are many ways to stay connected with our loved ones. They are given the opportunity to explore how they can stay connected too

This is what readers have to say about ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’:

“Jude’s writing is directly from the heart. Her new book, ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ is full of raw emotion, honesty and vulnerability. Jude gives us all permission to fully connect with, embrace and express all aspects of loss, grief and coming to terms with losing a loved one.
Her first book has touched lives around the world and I have no doubt that this will do the same.”
Alison Burton, Director - Simply Natural Therapies

“… Judy lives the reality that death is not the end, that love and a relationship are much stronger than death. Her heartfelt letters to her mother offer a clear insight into the power of this Love. By sharing this journey others will gain strength and confidence to grow their relationship with their loved ones.”
Glen Lord, President - The Grief Toolbox, President - Compassionate Friends USA

“Judy Taylor is a beautiful example of living from the heart, not the head. Her messages spread light around the world. What a true blessing … I love it! Very raw and honest. Very, very powerful. I think that is what the world needs....authenticity.”
Lynda Cheldelin Fell, President - National Grief & Hope Coalition, Creator – Grief Diaries

“… The focus is less on dwelling on loss and more on living a full and meaningful life. Lessons we learn from our deceased loved ones are priceless in showing us how to live in the moment and be truly present. It's to Judy's credit that she opens her heart so that we can heal ours.”
Rose Inserra, Best Selling author - ‘Dictionary of Dreams’

“’HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ reveals that, through letter-writing to a loved one our heartfelt emotions can be expressed in a healthy and healing way. It beautifully shows that our connections never have to end and our relationships can become eve closer.”
Christine Duminiak, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist & Author – ‘Grammy Visits From Heaven’

What readers say about ‘MUM MOMENTS - Journey Through Grief” (2014)

“I highly recommend it!! Just finished it last night! Amazing and touching!”
Robin Winsor

“I love your story and your true honesty and rawness. It speaks deep within from your soul.”
Angela Cartwright (President National Grief Awareness)

“… I bought this book on Amazon and loved it so much that I bought the hard copy too - it really helped me after losing my dad and I passed it onto my mum who has said it has greatly helped her too. I can't recommend this book highly enough for anyone who has lost a loved one.”
Trudy Brookes - Rainbow Rays Reiki

“I LOVE this book it has helped me tremendously and continues to help me. For anyone going through grief I would highly recommend it… It's a long road, and I miss (my parents) so much. Sometimes there are just no words”
Doris Pelletier Jarvis

“I have just been reading your book and so many things you write hit home. I lost my mum suddenly last year (she was 62) she died unexpectedly … I never got to say goodbye to her… Thank you for your journey and sharing it with others, Judy”
Sara Amos

“I was at Judy Taylor's Mum Moments book launch last year… I lost my mum just on 12 months ago. I only just recently picked up Jude's book to read. I laughed, cried and could relate to her story in so many ways… I am blessed to have met you and share your journey. You are an inspiration…”
Annalisa Seville

“Thank you the tears I have being trying to hide are flowing freely after reading nearly half of your beautiful book I look forward to finding peace in writing to my mum thanks it is a big help xx”
Hayley Comley

“Jude, while reading your book I feel so connected with my Mom. Spirituality lifted… Truly Amazing! Thank you for sharing your Journey!.. Just what I need! God Bless XO”
Erin Piotroski-Olshefski

“I thoroughly enjoyed reading Mum Moments. Having lost my mom unexpectedly last November, so much of what Judy wrote really hit home. I know that I will read it multiple times as I continue on my own journey through the unspeakable grief that comes from suddenly losing my mom and best friend.”
Denise Fleming (Kindle edition)

About The Author:

Judy Taylor is from Melbourne, Australia. She is a mother, sister, daughter, facilitator, speaker, author and an advocate for self-expression.

Following a successful sales and marketing background Judy embraced a more holistic approach to life following the birth of her children and found a new and satisfying direction in holistic healing. Judy became passionate about helping others embrace their feelings, get to better know themselves and make choices to produce more positive outcomes in their lives .

Judy was tested when her mother died suddenly in February 2011. To deal with her grief she began writing her thoughts and feelings down which provided her with personal comfort and support. She soon found friends and colleagues were touched by her words and was encouraged to share her writings to help others. This led to the self-publication of both her books.

Now, as a successful author, social media facilitator and speaker, Judy has found her niche helping others deal with their own grief and grieving processes.

Links:
www.positivesigns.com.au
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/books.html https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
https://youtu.be/7jQFokkzGLE
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheZergo123
https://www.amazon.com/author/judytaylor

‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’
ISBN - Paperback: 978-0-9924900-4-1
ISBN – Ebook: 978-0-9924900-3-4

3 Comments

May LOVE See Us All Through . . .

14/11/2015

2 Comments

As I sit in the sorrow of the loss of life in Lebanon and Paris through the act of terrorism in the last few days I observe a love so deep in my heart that cannot be destroyed by these senseless acts.

At times this is more easily said than done.

Sometimes the pain inflicted by human beings on each other is so deep that it feels impossible to find my way through. The darkness is so overwhelming that I feel like sobbing. I feel it is impossible to move this pain and I allow myself to sit and write the pain.

As I write I know in my heart there is a way through and all I have to do is open to Love and allow love to radiate from within me and share it with everyone that crosses my path.

If each of us digs deep into our hearts in our darkest moments I believe we can find Love and share it so others can feel it too.

I may not have all the answers ... I do have Love to see me through.

May Love see us all through this experience called life.

Jude xoxoxo

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Here We Go Again - Grief … Holidays, Christmas & Celebrations …

12/11/2015

4 Comments

Here we go again ... the words that can trigger reactions around the world ... 'Holidays' ... 'Christmas'

A time of celebration for many. A time of pain for those grieving for the 'happy family syndrome', a situation that doesn't exist for everyone … and for those grieving the loss of a loved one.

My immediate family I love and cherish, and while we bring out the best and worst in each other we do celebrations well. My birth family is a mixture and sadly there are many separations.

At this time of year I would love to say to everyone: “let's let go of the differences and come together to acknowledge we are family.” Through it all it would be wonderful for love and respect to shine through.

This is not the case, and as I have discovered over many years, I am not alone with this experience.

It is with trepidation that this year I am willing to acknowledge well in advance that 'the happy family' is not going to happen beyond my immediate family.

So it's time to plan ahead to embrace the loved ones that are happy for the connection and friends who bring joy to my heart.

I hope you too can embrace loved ones and friends who light up your life.

Jude xoxoxo

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JUDY TAYLOR – Grief, Healing, Love, Inspiration & Hope

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AUDIO- Guided Visualisations

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Aloha, Beautiful Sister - by John Taylor

1/9/2015

2 Comments

This past week I have been feeling so very heavy. It’s like I am in the middle of soft padding that envelopes me from way deep inside.

My sister died and that’s what it is. She wanted to go and was so looking forward to the journey. Her Angels/Guides have helped her by cushioning us from the immediate grief. I believe they have done this so our emotions don’t get in the way of her passing. That’s how I feel it, anyway.

To understand that statement you really needed to have known my sister. Not just a shallow ‘Hi, how you going” acquaintance but more to have been a part of her inner circle of colleagues and friends and patients… those who ‘knew’ her. These were the only people who understood what she did for a living, so to speak. She didn’t say much about her work or her life and that goes way back, too.

I cry with sad happiness that my beautiful sister has ‘gone home’ again. While we didn’t manage to cross paths so much in these last years I will always miss her. I know she is in my heart space and helped me in this lifetime in ways I can never explain or fully comprehend. Even when we were younger her generosity shone through. That’s what good sisters do. It’s part of the life and living process we share.

She was one of the few people who tried to never judge another as she understood we are all on a journey and it’s not an easy ride. She hardly ever gave an opinion without being asked, something I’m not sure I am capable of. She felt a darkness in so many technologies and preferred to live ‘with’ people rather than via computers. I know she tried them once, didn’t like it and let it all go.

While her body slowly fell apart from childhood ailments she had the most wonderful smile. She always saw the best in everyone, even those whose confusions tried to bring others down.

Light always casts shadows unless, perhaps, it shines within a place where there is only Light.

Aloha Marilyn. Our beautiful sister.

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JUDY TAYLOR – Grief, Healing, Love, Inspiration & Hope

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Last Night My Mum Hugged Me In A Dream...

25/8/2015

11 Comments

A whirlwind of emotions and feelings are presenting as my 60th birthday draws close.
Last Thursday I received a phone call to say my Dad's heart condition has deteriorated and the earliest they could operate is this Friday which is my birthday.

My sister in law died on Saturday night 4 weeks after being diagnosed with incurable cancer.

My 'Living in the Moment' way of life is challenging me to embrace it all.

In the early hours of this morning I had a dream where I was sitting in a cafe and my mum walked past. I called her in, we had a huge, beautiful hug and she let me know she is always with me… and then I woke up.

I attempted to go back into a dream state to see her again however she let me know that that was enough and that she is always with me.

Since she died 4½ years ago I so wanted her to present in physical form like this, just like the stories of contacts others had shared with me. I came to an acceptance this was not the way my mum and I were going to connect.

My writing became my most powerful way to connect with her and talking to her just as we had in life became a natural part of our connection. This has sustained me and continues to be a wonderful way to continue our relationship.

In the past week I have not been connecting with her as I have been overwhelmed with all that is happening here in our lives. So this morning she has opened me to a new connection through dreams.

I have sobbed tears of joy today for seeing her, hugging her and talking to her in my dream. It was so powerful.

More importantly, I have sobbed tears of joy and sadness as I recognise if this had happened in the early days I may never have written my journal, never have developed a way to communicate with her through my writing and talking to her which has opened me up to the power of love and the magnificence of life beyond death.

Sharing my story through publishing my journal ‘Mum Moments- Journey Through Grief’ as a book in 2014 has now helped and supported people worldwide. I get so many messages of thanks it makes it all worthwhile.

My Facebook page ‘Mum Moments- Journey Through Grief’offers love comfort and support daily around the world and helps people realise they are not alone. It feels so good to be helping in this way.

I have just completed editing my 2nd book with a working title 'Heartspace - Letters to my Mother’. I ran a workshop last week and plan to run more titled 'Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected' because I know in my heart when we set the intention our loved ones present in a way we can receive them.

All this may not have happened if my mum had presented in my dreams in those early days, or through the weeks, months and years after she died.

Oh my God Mum, you truly have been with me every step of the way. You have never left my side. I love you so much and I hear you say "I love you too, Jude". You are the only one who says it that way.

Love radiates everywhere.

Jude xoxoxo

Judy Taylor
Author of ‘Mum Moments - Journey Through Grief’

If you would like support on your journey please explore our website.
You can join our mailing list to keep in touch with future workshops and events.

My books, ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’ and
'HEARTSPACE - Letters To My Mother' are available for purchase worldwide from our website: www.positivesigns.com.au and most major online retailers.
You can also ask your bookstore to order it in if it’s not on the shelf.

JUDY TAYLOR – Grief, Healing, Love, Inspiration & Hope

Judy's Twitter

AUDIO - Guided Visualisations

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Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected

20/8/2015

2 Comments

It's a warm sunny afternoon and I am reflecting on a workshop I facilitated this morning at Simply Natural Therapies: 'Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected.'

Once the introductions were completed the session evolved into a heartfelt communication where all participants shared their personal stories. I began with my journey through grief following my mum's sudden death in 2011 and how writing became one of my most powerful healing tools as I embraced every single emotion and feeling that presented.

Through my writing I discovered a connection with my mum that truly transcends life on earth and found many other ways to keep our connection alive. The more I wrote the stronger the connection.

I now write to her and chat to her in everyday life. It is a beautiful and uplifting relationship that sustains me.

As a group we explored ways to acknowledge our grief as individuals and ways to stay connected with our loved ones. Personal experiences were shared which helped us all realise we are not alone and our feelings are okay.

Many were in the early stages of grief having lost loved ones in recent months or less than a year while others had lost loved ones several years ago. Each one knew the raw emotion of loss and the walls they created in their lives to resist the pain. Some acknowledged they were not yet ready to embrace that pain.

It was a humbling experience to sit with and acknowledge people who were willing to share their grief. Others were more comfortable sitting and observing the processes being shared and soon realised this was a safe, healing space. As the session evolved each and every one opened their hearts to whatever healing processes resonated for them.

By the end of the session everyone recognised they now had a fresh approach to help them on their journey.

Feedback:
Comments included ‘comforting, understanding, supportive, thank you so much, extremely informative, excellent’.

Jude xoxoxo

Judy Taylor
Author of ‘Mum Moments - Journey Through Grief’

If you would like support on your journey please explore our website.
You can join our mailing list to keep in touch with future workshops and events.

My first book ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’ is available for purchase worldwide from these websites: www.positivesigns.com.au , www.amazon.com , www.barnesandnoble.com , www.thegrieftoolbox.com , www.bookstore.co.uk
TYPE “Mum Moments” in the search box.
You can also ask your bookstore to order it in if it’s not on the shelf.