Category: Judy

A Different Kind Of Grief

1/2/2017

by Judy Taylor

I'm grieving.

It's a different type of grief to my mother’s sudden death.

This grief is profound. This is grieving for the living. This is grieving for a relationship where the reality is, ‘there is no resolution’.

This grief requires me digging deep to find acceptance, love, compassion and understanding for myself in a situation that is beyond repair. Some days, some times, I can do this. However, at other times and on other days I find it difficult or even impossible.

So, on my good days I meditate, I walk, I talk, I write, I hug, I observe my emotions and feelings, and I make choices for the benefit of my highest good and the highest good of all concerned. On my bad days I sob my heart out for the experience I am going through. I ache for a resolution that is not possible. I ask for understanding and support from those close to me, and I do the same things that I do on my good days … if I can.

In my own personal experience I know:
- There is no recipe for grieving.
- In any given moment the feelings come and go.
- Live in the moment.

Whatever you are grieving for, grief can take you completely by surprise. Taking time to recognise and acknowledge you are grieving, then observing your emotions and feelings, will empower you to make the best choice for you in any circumstance.

Self-awareness is your greatest gift when you are grieving because it allows you to help yourself.
Self-awareness also guides you when it's is time to reach out and ask for help.
Listen to your inner guidance and you will know.

May love, light and healing present in your life every day.

Jude xoxoxo

PS: At the end of writing this I sat here with the feeling: "I am so proud of myself" … and I am. I believe facing ‘all of me’, both the light and dark side, is one of the most empowering things I will ever do in my life.

Thank you to my husband John, my kids and my close friends who have supported me when I needed it most.

LINKS

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List:
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html
Audio Visualisations:
http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

4 Comments

Another birthday ... This journey is not easy ...

26/8/2016

2 Comments

So I sit here and contemplate another birthday with my mum in spirit.

I have developed a beautiful relationship with her which truly transcends life on earth. We talk, we chat and signs present everywhere which have helped me to know our relationship is strong and lives forever.

Yet I still long at times for her physical presence, I still long for her to walk up the pathway and for her to be here and hug me when I need one.

It is strange at times for it to be like this. Yes, we have such a wonderful relationship yet I still ache for her to physically be here with me.

She has taught me so much since she transitioned to her new life, a life I can only imagine. She has helped me embrace the frailties of being human, to express myself fully which has enriched my life as it is now, to embrace the confusions and perceptions I always just accepted, and to get to know myself as a more whole and beautiful person.

In some ways it is like her death has re-birthed me and I have become a child again. It’s like my sensitivities and awareness have opened my heart allowing me to express myself more fully.

This has been oh so hard in many ways because I had been living my life based on perceptions of me I had embraced as a toddler and child, and then continued to embrace as a teenager and young adult which manifested into me as an adult.

My relationship with myself and others throughout my life has been based on these perceptions, and in all honesty I'm standing right here right now saying these perceptions are not true. These perceptions are false and as I get to know me better I can honestly say that I am Love… and that is all that really matters.

I have sat with my own pain and suffering and sobbed my heart out so many times. I know I will be doing all that again. What I have found each time I have gone inside of me and sobbed through my pain is that Love is always waiting on the other side of my tears.

I am so proud of me. This journey is not easy. However, I know it is the only way for me, and I know my mum is right there beside me encouraging me every step of the way.

Thank you mum. I'm right here too and together we walk the path of Love.

Jude xoxoxo

LINKS:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List: http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html
Audio Visualisations: http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

2 Comments

The HOLIDAY I Needed ... the HOLIDAY I Got ...

20/7/2016

2 Comments

Holidays are a great place to come home to the heart.

Port Douglas for 7 days. A dream holiday to escape winter.

Yes I did it… we drew on the 'FI Account' and booked a last minute deal with only 5 sleeps till we stepped on the plane and arrived at our beautiful tropical apartment with all the comforts we needed and literally a 2 minute walk to the beach.

All I wanted to do was relax by the pool, walk along the beach, swim, read my book and share the experience with John. We were in our own pocket of Paradise; so content cooking delicious meals on the BBQ, sipping on lattes and wine and enjoying just being. We both had new books to read and the TV remained off.

On day three John was feeling exhausted and not so enthusiastic about joining me for a walk saying: "I am so glad we booked this holiday. I really needed it". By day 4 his exhaustion and lack of enthusiasm hit him hard and it was obvious a bug had set in. First some coughing, then a runny nose and finally a headache that kept getting worse and finally became a migraine. So day 4, 5 and 6 of our holiday became a wipeout for John and the dream holiday experience for us as a couple became a nightmare!

So here I was with the holiday I wanted suddenly taken away from me. A roller coaster of emotions and feelings surfaced as I observed the situation and reflected on how it all turned out to be like this.

Ah yes… the back story.

Back to the week earlier when I booked the holiday package on the Thursday and our flight was early the following Tuesday.

On the Friday night John’s band was playing and one of the band members asked John for a lift to the gig. Halfway there he told us he was really sick with a bug!!!!!! I opened my window at that point! Not impressed! The next night - Saturday - they had another gig two hours away and he had already asked John for a lift to that as well. Why take two cars all that distance? But now I said to John, "not a good idea driving all that way with him so sick. Remember we have a holiday booked next week". Though concerned, John kept to the arrangement. They spent two hours driving there and two hours driving back on Saturday night!

So now, here we are in tropical Queensland on our amazing holiday and John has come down with the bug big time! It’s only day four!!! I was so pissed off and the emotions were bursting inside of me and out of me in waves.

WHOA!!!

This was a time to embrace all my feelings and find a way to make the most of the holiday… FOR ME!!!

So I allowed myself to walk with my anger along 4 mile beach and dug deep inside to find the essence of what this experience was triggering in me. It was deep… the feelings of 'you just have to understand'… 'this is the way it is'… 'you will just have to wait'… 'this is more important'… 'your needs will have to be put on hold'…

So, in essence, my programming was getting in the way of my needs.

So what happened?

Firstly I acknowledged the situation. The holiday I wanted with John was no longer happening, that was clear.
Secondly I expressed my feelings to John reminding him of 'the back story'. I really needed to get that off my chest. That said, my man was sick so I also expressed compassion. This was no fun for him either.
Thirdly I sprinkled eucalyptus oil all round the apartment to protect myself from his bug.
Fourthly, and most importantly, I made MY now solo holiday MY priority.

Everyday I had several walks along the beach. I swam in the warm ocean, I swam in the pool, I read my book. I treated myself to lattes and brunches overlooking the water at the marina. I met some wonderful people. I laughed, I cried, I felt pissed off then I enjoyed the freedom of being me again.

Some days were sunny, some were cloudy and some were raining. All in all the perfect environment for me to be in touch with all my emotions and feelings and celebrate being me.

Day 7 was the icing on the cake. While John was still weak he was able to join me at the marina and share some of the delights I had discovered and experienced while he lay in bed. The bonus was the sun that now came shining through even though the weather bureau had forecast heavy rain and possible storms on our last day in paradise.

As I reflect now ... It was the holiday I needed.

From John’s perspective I’m not so sure he would agree it was exactly the holiday he had in mind.

2 Comments

I Miss My Mum Today

3/7/2016

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Okay ... Today is one of those days when "I miss my mum". Can you relate?

Late last night my 94 year old mother-in-law was taken by ambulance from her nursing home to hospital with pneumonia.

In simple terms she is fragile and life is day by day. In reality life is day by day for us all. There are many twists and turns in life and I know the best I can do is value each moment.

As I write I am reminded of a favourite saying of mine: "I ask for help and guidance as I continue to follow the pathway for the benefit of my highest good and the highest good of all concerned" - author unknown.

So tonight I will burn a candle and wish for the best outcome without knowing just what that is.

May love sustain us all through our day to day living.

Jude xoxoxo

_________________

LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List: http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html

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"I hate Mother’s Day", I heard someone say ...

28/4/2016

6 Comments

"I hate Mother’s Day", I heard someone say ...

Mother’s Day is different for everyone. Whether you are a mother or a child your relationship with your own mother is a personal connection like no other.

I know if your child or mother has died then Mother's Day brings out the emotions and can trigger so many different feelings including: "I hate Mother’s Day".

Mother’s Day has definitely changed for me since my mum died. But I have actually changed my perspective and can now say: "I love Mother’s Day". I love it as a mother and I love it as a daughter.

Yes, my own mother is dead so there are no longer physical hugs or physical contact. However, she is ever present with me now. I can go anywhere with her on Mother's Day because everywhere I go I hold a special place for her in my heart.

Just like any other day, I know on Mother’s Day there will be happy and sad feelings which come and go. I will allow them without resistance and embrace them throughout my day.

Now I say: “I give myself permission to feel without judgement”, and that means I no longer have to fear Mother's Day or any other day. I can embrace the moment knowing my mum is with me every step of the way.

Jude xoxoxo

6 Comments

Outside My Comfort Zone

22/3/2016

2 Comments

Today I had a project I was working on which took me outside my comfort zone and I so wanted someone else to fix it for me.

John refused to rescue me. I was not happy.

I was stuck and reaching outside of me for the solution ... and then 'I got it'. My intuition reminded me to do what I do best in these situations: "write it out".

So I did ... It started with acknowledging "I'm stuck" and the words flowed from there.

In a short period of time my overview was complete and I was no longer 'stuck',

Reminder to me ... recognise and acknowledge my fears and listen to my intuition.

I now appreciate John's resistance to rescue me. It worked.

2 Comments

Stuck In Childhood Perceptions . . .

4/3/2016

3 Comments

Two and a half weeks ago I was living my mission one step at a time. The essence of me was shining brightly. I felt good. I felt challenged. I felt willing to continue on my pathway guided by my intuition.

And then ... for the last two weeks I've been stuck in my childhood perceptions of 'who I am' completely depleted of the 'inner knowing of the love that I am'.

I was triggered by a comment made by another person in my birth family about me. This trigger was so, so deep it penetrated way beyond the surface of the ‘me’ that loves and accepts me as I am and delved into the deep dark corners of blame, fault, fear and more.

My sense of self, my sense of knowing, my sense of ‘me’ fell apart as I allowed this dark vision of myself to present as I desperately attempted to push it away.

It was devastating. I was devastated and I felt the deep, deep helplessness of 'there is no way out' … 'there is no resolution' … 'there is just pain and suffering' …

I so, so wanted to fix this, just as I have wanted to fix this since I was a young child.

So, during this time I have been overwhelmed with emotions. I have sobbed my heart out. My solar plexus which is the energy centre for self love and self nurturing felt like it had completely collapsed and I felt like I didn't even want to get out of bed. I even felt like I just wanted to run away from it all.

In this time I have also taken steps each day to nurture myself even when I didn't feel like it. I got out of bed, I went for a walk, I went to the gym, I meditated. I wrote through the pain. I kept going gently one step at a time even when I didn't feel like it.

Then, this morning I turned the corner and came home to my heart.

The most powerful thing I did was I cared for ‘me’ throughout this time. I cared for and loved the 'inner child’ who was sobbing for her life … the little girl who was lost and alone and felt like no one understood her … the little girl who ‘didn't fit in' … the little girl ‘who just knew' … and through it all I found my little girl has grown into a radiant compassionate loving woman who knows how to find her way home to the love in her heart, and then share her wisdom and experience to help others.

When I look back I see I have spent a lifetime learning, making great choices, making mistakes, falling apart, healing myself and healing others. I am a sensitive intuitive just born to be ‘me’.

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3 Comments

8,000 reasons for me to get up everyday ...

26/1/2016

3 Comments

I've been sharing my story on Facebook now for nearly two years to help others who are grieving for the loss of a loved one. My page has now passed 8,000 likes and that makes it worth getting up every single day.

Why you say?

It’s about the people behind the likes and how my page helps them.

It all began with my first book: ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’. On my Facebook page I shared excerpts from my grief journals and invited others to share their thoughts and feelings. Those who read my words said “I gave them permission to feel” and helped them realise they were not alone. Knowing my words supported others in their grieving process is heart warming.

Now, with the launch of my second book, ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ the journey continues. Through writing I express and share my feelings with my mother just as I did in our conversations when she was alive. This has allowed our relationship to grow and unfold in ways I could never have imagined.

My readers discover that ‘Love Transcends Death’ and there are many ways to stay connected with our loved ones. They are given the opportunity to explore how they can stay connected too

This is what readers have to say about ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’:

“Jude’s writing is directly from the heart. Her new book, ‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ is full of raw emotion, honesty and vulnerability. Jude gives us all permission to fully connect with, embrace and express all aspects of loss, grief and coming to terms with losing a loved one.
Her first book has touched lives around the world and I have no doubt that this will do the same.”
Alison Burton, Director - Simply Natural Therapies

“… Judy lives the reality that death is not the end, that love and a relationship are much stronger than death. Her heartfelt letters to her mother offer a clear insight into the power of this Love. By sharing this journey others will gain strength and confidence to grow their relationship with their loved ones.”
Glen Lord, President - The Grief Toolbox, President - Compassionate Friends USA

“Judy Taylor is a beautiful example of living from the heart, not the head. Her messages spread light around the world. What a true blessing … I love it! Very raw and honest. Very, very powerful. I think that is what the world needs....authenticity.”
Lynda Cheldelin Fell, President - National Grief & Hope Coalition, Creator – Grief Diaries

“… The focus is less on dwelling on loss and more on living a full and meaningful life. Lessons we learn from our deceased loved ones are priceless in showing us how to live in the moment and be truly present. It's to Judy's credit that she opens her heart so that we can heal ours.”
Rose Inserra, Best Selling author - ‘Dictionary of Dreams’

“’HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’ reveals that, through letter-writing to a loved one our heartfelt emotions can be expressed in a healthy and healing way. It beautifully shows that our connections never have to end and our relationships can become eve closer.”
Christine Duminiak, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist & Author – ‘Grammy Visits From Heaven’

What readers say about ‘MUM MOMENTS - Journey Through Grief” (2014)

“I highly recommend it!! Just finished it last night! Amazing and touching!”
Robin Winsor

“I love your story and your true honesty and rawness. It speaks deep within from your soul.”
Angela Cartwright (President National Grief Awareness)

“… I bought this book on Amazon and loved it so much that I bought the hard copy too - it really helped me after losing my dad and I passed it onto my mum who has said it has greatly helped her too. I can't recommend this book highly enough for anyone who has lost a loved one.”
Trudy Brookes - Rainbow Rays Reiki

“I LOVE this book it has helped me tremendously and continues to help me. For anyone going through grief I would highly recommend it… It's a long road, and I miss (my parents) so much. Sometimes there are just no words”
Doris Pelletier Jarvis

“I have just been reading your book and so many things you write hit home. I lost my mum suddenly last year (she was 62) she died unexpectedly … I never got to say goodbye to her… Thank you for your journey and sharing it with others, Judy”
Sara Amos

“I was at Judy Taylor's Mum Moments book launch last year… I lost my mum just on 12 months ago. I only just recently picked up Jude's book to read. I laughed, cried and could relate to her story in so many ways… I am blessed to have met you and share your journey. You are an inspiration…”
Annalisa Seville

“Thank you the tears I have being trying to hide are flowing freely after reading nearly half of your beautiful book I look forward to finding peace in writing to my mum thanks it is a big help xx”
Hayley Comley

“Jude, while reading your book I feel so connected with my Mom. Spirituality lifted… Truly Amazing! Thank you for sharing your Journey!.. Just what I need! God Bless XO”
Erin Piotroski-Olshefski

“I thoroughly enjoyed reading Mum Moments. Having lost my mom unexpectedly last November, so much of what Judy wrote really hit home. I know that I will read it multiple times as I continue on my own journey through the unspeakable grief that comes from suddenly losing my mom and best friend.”
Denise Fleming (Kindle edition)

About The Author:

Judy Taylor is from Melbourne, Australia. She is a mother, sister, daughter, facilitator, speaker, author and an advocate for self-expression.

Following a successful sales and marketing background Judy embraced a more holistic approach to life following the birth of her children and found a new and satisfying direction in holistic healing. Judy became passionate about helping others embrace their feelings, get to better know themselves and make choices to produce more positive outcomes in their lives .

Judy was tested when her mother died suddenly in February 2011. To deal with her grief she began writing her thoughts and feelings down which provided her with personal comfort and support. She soon found friends and colleagues were touched by her words and was encouraged to share her writings to help others. This led to the self-publication of both her books.

Now, as a successful author, social media facilitator and speaker, Judy has found her niche helping others deal with their own grief and grieving processes.

Links:
www.positivesigns.com.au
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/books.html https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/
https://youtu.be/7jQFokkzGLE
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheZergo123
https://www.amazon.com/author/judytaylor

‘HEARTSPACE – Letters To My Mother’
ISBN - Paperback: 978-0-9924900-4-1
ISBN – Ebook: 978-0-9924900-3-4

3 Comments

Write It Out... Get It Out...

7/1/2016

0 Comments

Okay ... I was caught up in some grief a friend is experiencing right now and somehow our conversation about something unrelated triggered responses that left us both feeling awful, like wounded children.

It became clear to me I needed to step out and go for a walk. I listened to my inner voice guiding me and went for that walk.

I began sobbing and sat down and wrote down exactly how I was feeling and by the time I had finished I felt a sense of calm.

Being human means we often have unresolved pain wounds which can be triggered by all sorts of things. In my experience they can be triggered in conversations that are often not directly related to the pain. I have found that stepping away from conversations with others at these times and listening to my inner voice, or writing my feelings down helps me gain an understanding of myself and what is happening with me. Writing is a powerful healing tool.

The added bonus from me getting to know myself and being more self aware is that sometimes I can recognise when others are triggered too. At these times I can often respond to them with compassion rather than reacting to my own issues. Sometimes I do this well… other times not.

My life is a work in progress where I do the best I can to live in the moment.

My wish is by sharing both my vulnerabilities and my strengths that I will help others to embrace their own personal healing journey.

Thank you for being here.

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May LOVE See Us All Through . . .

14/11/2015

2 Comments

As I sit in the sorrow of the loss of life in Lebanon and Paris through the act of terrorism in the last few days I observe a love so deep in my heart that cannot be destroyed by these senseless acts.

At times this is more easily said than done.

Sometimes the pain inflicted by human beings on each other is so deep that it feels impossible to find my way through. The darkness is so overwhelming that I feel like sobbing. I feel it is impossible to move this pain and I allow myself to sit and write the pain.

As I write I know in my heart there is a way through and all I have to do is open to Love and allow love to radiate from within me and share it with everyone that crosses my path.

If each of us digs deep into our hearts in our darkest moments I believe we can find Love and share it so others can feel it too.

I may not have all the answers ... I do have Love to see me through.

May Love see us all through this experience called life.

Jude xoxoxo