It's a different type of grief to my mother’s sudden death.
This grief is profound. This is grieving for the living. This is grieving for a relationship where the reality is, ‘there is no resolution’.
This grief requires me digging deep to find acceptance, love, compassion and understanding for myself in a situation that is beyond repair. Some days, some times, I can do this. However, at other times and on other days I find it difficult or even impossible.
So, on my good days I meditate, I walk, I talk, I write, I hug, I observe my emotions and feelings, and I make choices for the benefit of my highest good and the highest good of all concerned. On my bad days I sob my heart out for the experience I am going through. I ache for a resolution that is not possible. I ask for understanding and support from those close to me, and I do the same things that I do on my good days … if I can.
In my own personal experience I know:
- There is no recipe for grieving.
- In any given moment the feelings come and go.
- Live in the moment.
Whatever you are grieving for, grief can take you completely by surprise. Taking time to recognise and acknowledge you are grieving, then observing your emotions and feelings, will empower you to make the best choice for you in any circumstance.
Self-awareness is your greatest gift when you are grieving because it allows you to help yourself.
Self-awareness also guides you when it's is time to reach out and ask for help.
Listen to your inner guidance and you will know.
May love, light and healing present in your life every day.
PS: At the end of writing this I sat here with the feeling: "I am so proud of myself" … and I am. I believe facing ‘all of me’, both the light and dark side, is one of the most empowering things I will ever do in my life.
Thank you to my husband John, my kids and my close friends who have supported me when I needed it most.
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