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Another birthday ... This journey is not easy ...

26/8/2016

2 Comments

 
So I sit here and contemplate another birthday with my mum in spirit.

I have developed a beautiful relationship with her which truly transcends life on earth. We talk, we chat and signs present everywhere which have helped me to know our relationship is strong and lives forever.

Yet I still long at times for her physical presence, I still long for her to walk up the pathway and for her to be here and hug me when I need one.
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It is strange at times for it to be like this. Yes, we have such a wonderful relationship yet I still ache for her to physically be here with me.

She has taught me so much since she transitioned to her new life, a life I can only imagine. She has helped me embrace the frailties of being human, to express myself fully which has enriched my life as it is now, to embrace the confusions and perceptions I always just accepted, and to get to know myself as a more whole and beautiful person.

In some ways it is like her death has re-birthed me and I have become a child again. It’s like my sensitivities and awareness have opened my heart allowing me to express myself more fully.

This has been oh so hard in many ways because I had been living my life based on perceptions of me I had embraced as a toddler and child, and then continued to embrace as a teenager and young adult which manifested into me as an adult.  

My relationship with myself and others throughout my life has been based on these perceptions, and in all honesty I'm standing right here right now saying these perceptions are not true. These perceptions are false and as I get to know me better I can honestly say that I am Love… and that is all that really matters.

I have sat with my own pain and suffering and sobbed my heart out so many times. I know I will be doing all that again. What I have found each time I have gone inside of me and sobbed through my pain is that Love is always waiting on the other side of my tears.


I am so proud of me. This journey is not easy. However, I know it is the only way for me, and I know my mum is right there beside me encouraging me every step of the way.

Thank you mum. I'm right here too and together we walk the path of Love.

Jude xoxoxo

LINKS:
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/ 

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014
Amazon Author’s page:  http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA
Join Our Mailing List:  http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html
Audio Visualisations:  http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

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Last Night My Mum Hugged Me In A Dream...

25/8/2015

11 Comments

 
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A whirlwind of emotions and feelings are presenting as my 60th birthday draws close.
Last Thursday I received a phone call to say my Dad's heart condition has deteriorated and the earliest they could operate is this Friday which is my birthday.

My sister in law died on Saturday night 4 weeks after being diagnosed with incurable cancer.

My 'Living in the Moment' way of life is challenging me to embrace it all.

In the early hours of this morning I had a dream where I was sitting in a cafe and my mum walked past. I called her in, we had a huge, beautiful hug and she let me know she is always with me… and then I woke up.

I attempted to go back into a dream state to see her again however she let me know that that was enough and that she is always with me.

Since she died 4½ years ago I so wanted her to present in physical form like this, just like the stories of contacts others had shared with me. I came to an acceptance this was not the way my mum and I were going to connect.

My writing became my most powerful way to connect with her and talking to her just as we had in life became a natural part of our connection. This has sustained me and continues to be a wonderful way to continue our relationship.

In the past week I have not been connecting with her as I have been overwhelmed with all that is happening here in our lives. So this morning she has opened me to a new connection through dreams.

I have sobbed tears of joy today for seeing her, hugging her and talking to her in my dream. It was so powerful.

More importantly, I have sobbed tears of joy and sadness as I recognise if this had happened in the early days I may never have written my journal, never have developed a way to communicate with her through my writing and talking to her which has opened me up to the power of love and the magnificence of life beyond death.


Sharing my story through publishing my journal ‘Mum Moments- Journey Through Grief’ as a book in 2014 has now helped and supported people worldwide. I get so many messages of thanks it makes it all worthwhile.

My Facebook page ‘Mum Moments- Journey Through Grief’offers love comfort and support daily around the world and helps people realise they are not alone. It feels so good to be helping in this way.

I have just completed editing my 2nd book with a working title 'Heartspace - Letters to my Mother’. I ran a workshop last week and plan to run more titled 'Love Transcends Death - Staying Connected' because I know in my heart when we set the intention our loved ones present in a way we can receive them.

All this may not have happened if my mum had presented in my dreams in those early days, or through the weeks, months and years after she died.

Oh my God Mum, you truly have been with me every step of the way. You have never left my side. I love you so much and I hear you say "I love you too, Jude". You are the only one who says it that way.

Love radiates everywhere.

Jude xoxoxo

Judy Taylor
Author of ‘Mum Moments - Journey Through Grief’


If you would like support on your journey please explore our website.
You can join our mailing list to keep in touch with future workshops and events.

My books, ‘MUM MOMENTS – Journey Through Grief’ and
'HEARTSPACE - Letters To My Mother' are available for purchase worldwide from our website: www.positivesigns.com.au  and most major online retailers.
You can also ask your bookstore to order it in if it’s not on the shelf.

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My Birthday ...

7/8/2015

4 Comments

 
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In 21 days I turn 60.

Each birthday since my mum died I ponder what she was doing as my birth approached. Did she have time to be present with my impending birth? Was she too busy to enjoy the moment whilst caring for her 2 other children both under 3 years of age? Then I think it doesn't really matter. We were together connected through love. I was warm and cosy in her womb. This was the best cuddle ever.

I know now this connection is more powerful than any human experience, more powerful than any connection in the physical world and transcends life and death. I feel this connection every single day and it brings joy to my heart even though the tears are flowing freely as I write.

I feel you everywhere mum. I feel the warmth of snuggling up in your womb, I feel the warmth of your love and I will continue to talk to you, walk with you, laugh with you,  cry with you, write to you and connect with you forever.

I now know there is connection in the afterlife and it can be just as good as it was in life.

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Happy Birthdays ...  Mixed Emotions ...

29/7/2015

3 Comments

 
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In 30 days I will turn 60.

I am aware I plan to celebrate my 60th birthday. I am yet to decide how.


I love birthdays however I'm not sure what that means. I google it and Wikipedia says, 'A birthday is an occasion when a person or institution celebrates the anniversary of their birth. Birthdays are celebrated in numerous cultures, often with a gift, party, or rite of passage.'


My mum was at my birth and at my first 55 birthdays and that's how I liked it.


My last 4 birthdays she has been with me 'in spirit' which is truly a beautiful experience however the little girl inside of me and even the big girl would love her to still be here physically, and that's tough.


I remember dancing with her at my 50th birthday and I want that again. I also know that wherever I am she will be right there by my side and perhaps even closer than she was in this physical world.


Such a mishmash of emotions and feelings. I love the relationship we have developed since her death and the ways we continue to connect however I'd give anything (whatever that means) to have her here right now.


So I'm going to talk about it, write about it, feel it, and see what evolves over the next 30 days.


I know friends are waiting for me to say how I'm going to celebrate, however right now I have no clear answers because my emotions and feelings are floating between the world I once knew with my mum and the one I now know.


Both are beautiful in their own way.


Jude xoxoxo
                         ___________________


LINKS
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Judy-Taylor-Grief-Healing-Love-Inspiration-Hope-724885690872207/ 

Twitter: 
https://twitter.com/JudyTaylor2014

Amazon Author’s page: 
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B018LQJ5SC

Youtube: 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPGoVDdQ3PG1YLJs4fA3QgA

Join Our Mailing List: 
http://www.positivesigns.com.au/join-mailing-list.html

Audio Visualisations: 
http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PositiveSigns

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