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Happy Birthdays ...  Mixed Emotions ...

29/7/2015

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In 30 days I will turn 60.

I am aware I plan to celebrate my 60th birthday. I am yet to decide how.


I love birthdays however I'm not sure what that means. I google it and Wikipedia says, 'A birthday is an occasion when a person or institution celebrates the anniversary of their birth. Birthdays are celebrated in numerous cultures, often with a gift, party, or rite of passage.'


My mum was at my birth and at my first 55 birthdays and that's how I liked it.


My last 4 birthdays she has been with me 'in spirit' which is truly a beautiful experience however the little girl inside of me and even the big girl would love her to still be here physically, and that's tough.


I remember dancing with her at my 50th birthday and I want that again. I also know that wherever I am she will be right there by my side and perhaps even closer than she was in this physical world.


Such a mishmash of emotions and feelings. I love the relationship we have developed since her death and the ways we continue to connect however I'd give anything (whatever that means) to have her here right now.


So I'm going to talk about it, write about it, feel it, and see what evolves over the next 30 days.


I know friends are waiting for me to say how I'm going to celebrate, however right now I have no clear answers because my emotions and feelings are floating between the world I once knew with my mum and the one I now know.


Both are beautiful in their own way.


Jude xoxoxo
                         ___________________


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Jude's Mum Found This Treasure

27/7/2015

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by John Taylor

We're sitting in a small cafe that has panache… style... a certain elegance. Cavallini.

 Jude’s mum loved this place and enjoyed bringing us here. Jude’s mum had that same certain style and the wonderful ability to find gorgeous places like this.

The upside is the coffee and cakes are superb, the downside being that it’s a cold, rainy winter day here in Melbourne and our favourite seat in the front window is right next to the front door. If I wanted to study people’s door opening and closing habits I’m in the perfect position. A front row seat.

I have never been to Italy or France but Jude says this place captures the European flavour. Candelabras, lamps, ornately framed mirrors, quaint gold-edged round tables, bent-frame wooden chairs... It feels good to just be here.

A small girl is holding the door open for her mum and the chill breeze creeps down the back of my neck and under my scarf. Her mother apologises but I assure them it’s ok. After all, it is actually better than that because our cheesecake and lattes just arrived. Yum. This is the reason we drive all this way. Sunday Cafe Heaven. Liquid poetry with mouth-melting creamery on the side.

It occurs to me that if it wasn't raining I'd probably be home mowing the lawn. Thank goodness it’s a rainy Melbourne winter day, thank goodness Shirl found this treasure and thank goodness Jude said "lets go to Cavallini." 

Another cold draft hits the back of my neck as someone else comes in the door. I hardly notice. Right now, inside Cavallini on a cold, Melbourne Winter’s day there are more pleasurable things to be doing.


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