I am aware I plan to celebrate my 60th birthday. I am yet to decide how.
I love birthdays however I'm not sure what that means. I google it and Wikipedia says, 'A birthday is an occasion when a person or institution celebrates the anniversary of their birth. Birthdays are celebrated in numerous cultures, often with a gift, party, or rite of passage.'
My mum was at my birth and at my first 55 birthdays and that's how I liked it.
My last 4 birthdays she has been with me 'in spirit' which is truly a beautiful experience however the little girl inside of me and even the big girl would love her to still be here physically, and that's tough.
I remember dancing with her at my 50th birthday and I want that again. I also know that wherever I am she will be right there by my side and perhaps even closer than she was in this physical world.
Such a mishmash of emotions and feelings. I love the relationship we have developed since her death and the ways we continue to connect however I'd give anything (whatever that means) to have her here right now.
So I'm going to talk about it, write about it, feel it, and see what evolves over the next 30 days.
I know friends are waiting for me to say how I'm going to celebrate, however right now I have no clear answers because my emotions and feelings are floating between the world I once knew with my mum and the one I now know.
Both are beautiful in their own way.
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